While I knit for an hour tonight I watched some Food Network. I saw this oddly fascinating episode of Paula Deen, where she as usual created the most fattening calorific junk imaginable. The side course was this potato casserole, comprised of a layer of mashed potato, a layer of sour cream, onions and red peppers sauteed in AN ENTIRE STICK OF BUTTER, some more potatoes, several handfuls of cheese, and get this, as soon as it’s done baking, topped with a pile of BACON.
*coronary*
The dessert was a chocolate bread pudding that looked like a big sloppy mess, filled with eggs and cream and chocolate chips and on and on.
*diabetic coma*
Anyway I knit about five or six rows, Rachael Ray was on next so it was time to wrap it up.
Dinner tonight is going to be of an English breakfasty theme: eggs, baked beans, toast, and a side salad.
Oh, God. Oh, Pow-la. She makes my heart hurt.
“HEY YAWL!!! Wekkom to mah keetchin! Today Ahm own be showin yawl mah resippy fer frahd budder! It stawrts with a cheeled stick a budder, an we own dip that in some puddin, git that awl nice and covered with that there puddin, Ah lahk to yews a nice banana puddin or some butterscawtch puddin, and then when that’s all nicely covered Ahm own batter-dip that, an that batter ain’t nothin but just some store-bought Bisquick, some heavy cream, a couple dozen aygs a half-poun’ a sugar, some maple syrup and a cup an a half of a veg’table awl. An Ahm own let that set for just a few minits, then we own plop that whole stick raht into the deep-frahr. Not too long, now, you don’t want the budder to mayult! Just enough to brown up that batter and get that puddin nice an warm, then out that comes and right into some melted chawklit, we own ENROBE that, yawl, in that nahs chawcklit, and then it goes onto some paper towels and we put that in the ahsbox for about twinny minits to set up. Then when we ready to serve that I lahk to dredge that with some powdered sugar and garnish it with some peanit budder cups and maybe a dollop of may-naise. Now that’s about one serving, so you wanna make at least one stick per person, an’ it’s a liddle tahm-consumin but SO worth it, yawl. And when we get back from the commercial, Ah’m own be showin you mah great aunt Ruby’s famous resippy for bacon-wrapped cheese, you dowanna miss that! Be raht back, yawl!â€
This brought tears to my eyes.
AWL. AWWWL.
*dies*