This is much funnier when you imagine the part of me being played by Larry David.

Monday morning, I got off my bus and walked to the ferry terminal to await my boat. I reached the double glass doors and when I stepped inside, saw that the corridor was being blocked by a few people. I wanted to get by them and stand on the other wall, where I wouldn’t be blocking the exit. So I said “excuse me” and moved past. One guy I passed kind of jammed his elbow into me as I went, but I thought whatever, it’s crowded. I stood by the other wall and waited to walk on.

So, we’re all walking on to the boat and going to find seats or whatever. The guy who elbowed me came up next to me, going, “Excuse me, miss” so I looked at him. He was an older guy with a beard and glasses.

“I would appreciate it if you would have said excuse me when you walked by me. You bumped my arm.”

“I did say excuse me,” I said.

“No, you did not.”

“Yes, I did.”

At this point I noticed he’s wearing A HEARING AID.

“No, you did not,” he said again.

“I did,” I said. What else could I say? I decided this conversation was now over and went past him to find a seat up front. I was a little shaken — why was this guy so fucking upset that his arm was nudged by a woman half his size? Are his bones hollow?

Later I thought about it and realized this is the shit Larry David is always putting into his show, except if I were him, I probably would have pointed out to the guy that maybe, just maybe, he did not hear me saying “excuse me.” And then I would have hung on to my argument like a pit bull until f-bombs were dropped.

Then later on I would have run into the guy again and he would have exacted his revenge on me or something.

I love that show.

The end.