I found a book at my bus stop a couple days ago. It is a “Harlequin Super Romance”, and cost $3.97 at Wal-Mart. Brian picked me up seconds later so I showed him the book and we laughed. On the ride home, I read him a few random passages from within, then tossed it into my bag.

Yesterday on my way home, I discovered the paperback in my purse and didn’t have anything else to do on the ferry, so I figured, what the hell, why not. Maybe it would be interesting to find out what kind of writing ends up in these disposable love stories.

The answer: not good writing. I actually almost cracked up laughing a couple times at the incredibly hackneyed dialogue, plodding exposition, and groaningly overused similes/metaphors. The main female protagonist and male protagonist meet each other on page one, and on page two, an “instant attraction” develops. Didn’t see that coming. I don’t know why anyone would bother with the ensuing 200 pages, but I am going to anyway.

As I suspected, the male hero in these books is typically very virile, handsome, successful, confident, and muscular, with a wee bit of danger and the hint of a bad temper. I guess it wouldn’t be as fun for the target reader to dream about a guy who isn’t your typical “catch.”

The author, possibly writing under a psuedonym to pay the bills, is quite fond of the word “breasts.” I hate being titillated! — Angela, The Office

Anyhoo, I am determined to read every page of this book, searching for at least ONE beautiful or original phrase, or perhaps a piece of clever and believable dialogue. Doubt I’ll find it, and I’ll just end up bitter that this hack is making a living off this junk.