People with kids are not happier in general than those without kids.
As I always say every time I get my period, ah! Another month of freedom! Another month of disposable income!
This story also made me wonder about all the research/evidence about how people with pets are happier than those without pets.
So, no children and three pets — I guess we must be OVERJOYED!
The puppy and the cats are totally chilling together. It’s only been what, two weeks? I am the puppy whisperer.
Children and Happiness
Maybe this study is an attempt to slow the rate of reproduction and future overpopulation. Or, maybe it’s a gentle reminder to potential parents that offspring don’t tap dance out of the uterus to the tune of ‘the entertainer.’
Honestly, though, maybe the people who are not happy with children are suffering from one of the following.
1. The assumption that having children will make their lives happier. In my mind, this is the same as believing that a new pair of sneakers will make me run faster or jump higher.
2. Unplanned pregnancy and stress that the parents aren’t ready for. Stuff happens and some people take longer to (or never) adjust to major life changes.
3. The parents realize too late in the game how difficult it is to be responsible for another life. In this case, the parents plan it all out everything seems cool but then reality sets in once sleep schedules are interrupted, etc.
I didn’t read the study but I’m wondering if the unhappy parents have children within a particular age range. Maybe once the child is old enough to cover some of the household chores or start paying rent the parents become happier. Maybe the parents in the crowd can chime in and let us know how they feel about this.
Re: Children and Happiness
wow husband.
I agree though. There are a myriad of factors in play that aren’t mentioned, like, as you said, the difference between planned and unplanned pregnancies, economic factors, health factors, age of the parents, adopted and birth children, and so on.
Re: Children and Happiness
I think if you have to wait for your kid to start paying rent before you find “happiness” you are doomed. That is a bit sad, dont you think?
If parents realised before they had kids that it might be a bit too much to deal with the human race would be over.
Re: Children and Happiness
I am a parent of three. A 16 yr. old boy, a 14 yr. old girl and a 12 yr old boy. I can honestly say that when I look back on my past misery it really had nothing to do with being a parent. It was being in an abusive marriage to a man I never loved. After my divorce happiness level went up and after counseling to deal with the baggage of past abuse happiness went up again. Of coarse I knew I wanted to be a mother. I knew I wanted three kids and I wanted them close in age. As far as child rearing I had little in the way of surprises. There are just too many factors involved with having kids vs. not having them to simplify it in the way that the article did. I have friends who have no kids and have taken measures to be sure that they never do and they are happy. Some of my friends had kids because it was expected and they are not happy. Others did not want kids but ended up having them anyway and found that much to their surprise they were happy after all. Then there are the few who want kids and have been unable to so far and they are not happy. What it really comes down to is what is right for each couple and that is hard to measure since everyone is different.
Re: Children and Happiness
I thought the notion of it was irritating, but I think that we probably all find the notion of something reducing a huge universe of variables into a binary irritating, on principle alone if nothing else.
What struck me was how the premises seemed so silly. Being happier doing one thing or another doesn’t mean you’re happier in total sum than you would be if your life was otherwise. I never found grocery shopping fun before. Now grocery shopping on my own is a positively joyous occasion, for the contrast, and I don’t feel the slightest bit of shame admitting I like doing that more than trying to play some kind of pony make-believe on the floor. So that does that make me a less happy person than I was before I had my daughter? Not at all, and the reasons are completely extraneous to the thesis.
I think you make some really good points; I’m enjoying my daughter much, much more as she gets old enough to wander in and out of my frame of attention rather than consuming it entirely. I was downright jealous of a field trip she went on yesterday; I really wanted to be there. We meet each other better as individuals as she develops.
And the money thing is somewhat abstract to me. I could afford to be eating in much nicer restaurants and wearing much nicer clothes than I do now w/out my daughter, but would that make me “happier”? Such a strange idea.
AND (sorry, I’m being longwinded) you make an excellent point about what some people may expect of their children contrasted with what parenthood actually delivers. I’m bothered by the pressure in our society to procreate. I love my kid, but having her, I know my life could have been just as rich had I taken another path. It was the sense that there would be unfinished business in my life that really drove me to keep my surprise pregnancy, and I know now that that’s such an artificial and indoctrinated assumption.
Awesome, I am glad puppy and kitties have harmony.. We’re back in the NW, and reading this post makes me feel a little in touch!