File under: First-world problems.

So I went to Nordstrom on my lunch to pick up the hot Paige jeans husband bought for me for xmas (had to be altered, like all my pants). Anyway they are awesome. Then I decided to get a lip gloss, something nude and neutral to wear over lip color or alone, etc.

I browsed around and was then pounced upon by this chick from Smashbox. I have never used Smashbox cosmetics and don’t really care to. She had me try on a few of their glosses. They were fine, stickier than I like, but whatever, not as bad as MAC, which is like glue on your mouth. Then she was all, “can I touch up your makeup?”

This is where ladies, one needs to learn to say “no”. I need a reserve of excuses… “sorry, I’m late for a meeting!” “I think my water just broke!” Or something. But I am a doormat so next thing you know I am in her chair being made up like a drag queen. I asked for “natural” but they never listen to that. This chick had black AND white eyeliner on UNDER her eyes. It was unsettling.

I had to stop her after she had filled in my eyebrows (I never do that) and applied blush to my FOREHEAD. She also wanted to put mascara on me (I was already wearing some) so I said no and looked meaningfully at my watch.

She spent a long time telling me how I should wear primer under my foundation. It’s just enough for me to even wear foundation, and it took ages to find one I even liked (Chanel), but I accepted a deluxe sample anyway (Makeupalley rates it a 47 out of 100%). Then I caved and bought the lip gloss. A pink one! Oh, Jane.

I walked away, pissed at myself and covered with makeup. Grr. I made my way to the Chanel counter and used a sponge to remove some of it. Then I saw that they had the *nude* lip gloss I fucking wanted in the first place. I cleaned off my lips and tried it. Success!

So yeah. I returned the first one, five minutes after buying it, and got the one I wanted. It all took way too much time and now I am hoping I don’t break out before I get home tonight. I’m sorry that girl will lose her commission, but it’s my money, dammit.

Oh and during that whole thing she said “I’m not a pushy salesperson.” Sure.