Freya is sleeping. When she wakes up I will go hold her and feed her, so this could be short…

I am lonely today. Maybe it’s the rain or something. Or just never seeing my friends and having an empty inbox as usual. I feel forgotten sometimes. I try to reach out to my friends, it doesn’t seem to mean much.

Or maybe none of that is true and I just wish I could physically be with my friends, who are largely very far away. I miss them all, believe me. I think of you, often.

I’m going to try to go to a playdate Friday, and connect with more mamas here.

Anyway.

Freya still loves being held much of the time. I love holding her, too, but it would be great to have extra arms so I could hold her while also making food or cleaning up a little. We should get a couple of servants. Ha ha. It’s nice to be needed. It seems like she saves her biggest smiles for Daddy. Ok I am not going to project my stupid insecurity onto my baby, am I?

I know my dog loves me. Good dog.

I hate that I still need to wear my maternity pants. And those are loose on me, so everything is too loose or too tight. I should just buy some dresses and skirts and wear that all summer, or until I get these last ten pounds off. Which let’s face it could never happen, who knows.

I really really look forward to my baby being able to sit up, and being able to really play with her. Play a game, do an activity, feel like I am teaching her something, or getting through to her. But she DOES progress daily. She can prop herself up on her hands while on her tummy, and scoot backward on the floor. She reaches for objects she wants, and knows how to pet Kona. She laughs and laughs (with Brian). She is becoming more engaged. Maybe I just want to know that she knows I am her mother and that I love her more than anything. I don’t know. She’s getting there.

She has been talking in her sleep lately. It’s cute. I rub her back and she quiets down again. Cutie boo.

I could have sworn I had a lot more to write about. I guess not, not right now. Going to go check on her, see if she wants to wake up and nurse. She has started to figure that out, too — that grabbing and squeezing the breast while drinking makes the milk come out faster. Smart baby.