I read a blog this morning by another mother I know online — in it she mentioned that she knows a woman who forces her 16-month-old son to “cry it out” (CIO) at night, closing the door at 7pm and opening it again 12 hours later, because she needs her “mommy time.” So she is only a parent for 12 hours out of the day.

This kind of shit enrages me. I kind of want to find this “mother” and punch her in the neck.

Apparently, she watches all of this on a video monitor as well, proving that she possesses no heart whatsoever, and possibly no soul. One time, the poor little boy removed his own diaper in a plea for help, she did nothing and arrived in the morning to a crib soaked with pee. HOW is this not child abuse? How does she get to keep this baby and continue to torture him every night? I am dead serious, she should be arrested for this. But of course, it’s all perfectly legal!

But she’ll pay for it eventually. When she becomes alienated from her son and can’t figure out why. When god forbid he turns to drugs or alcohol because he has never learned how to feel good about himself. When he can’t form good relationships with people because he has no foundation of trust and love to build upon. When he internalizes his resentment of his mother (and vice versa) and takes it out on other women in his life. When, worst of all (and this definitely can happen to babies who are forced to scream and panic for hours), he develops a mental illness because his developing brain chemistry was fucking destroyed in infancy by endless nightly floods of cortisol (the flight-or-fight hormone).

God I wish there was something I could do, that anyone like me could do, for these poor helpless babies who are left to suffer, to learn that they aren’t valued, to learn that they can’t count on their parents to care for their emotional needs when they are so little and so vulnerable.

All I can do I guess, besides typing this out, is continue to bond to my sweet little Freya, and never put selfish wants above her need to be loved and held. They are babies for such a brief time, and their needs are so simple: feed me, keep me clean, warm, safe, secure. My baby is so calm, so mild-tempered, so alert and happy. She won’t always be this content, I know that. But that’s why I am building this rock solid foundation for her. She’ll ALWAYS have me to turn to when she needs me. She can always trust me.