Freya is deep in the throes of teething this week. I believe it’s more molars. Last night she had another low fever, wanted to nurse constantly, and when she woke up fussing and crying, it was with her fingers jammed into her mouth. Poor baby.

When I do get her back to sleep, she snuggles so close to me, caresses my arm, rests her feet on my legs, basically sticks to me like velcro. And I love it. I love these cuddly times with her. I am trying to appreciate them as much as I can, because they won’t last much longer (relatively). In a year or so, she will likely be in her own bed. Of course I expect she will join us whenever she wants to, but it won’t be like co-sleeping with a baby anymore.

She’s in bed with Brian now, while I get a little time to type. I already prepared my wet and dry ingredients for pumpkin pancakes. They just need to be combined and cooked up. And yes there will be bacon.

This morning I am also going to get a one-hour massage. This was a gift from Brian for Mother’s Day last year, which I have finally gotten around to redeeming. He also bought me six yoga classes, which I REALLY want to do. I miss doing yoga! But that will also take more juggling of time and so on.

I don’t really relish the opportunity to be away from Freya. I love being with her and she is moving into a period of even more intense “mommy-need” than ever. Sometimes I go upstairs, leaving her with Brian, and I hear her little voice, “Mama. Mama. Mama.” And I feel bad for Brian, I hope he isn’t taking it personally.

Right now I can only really bear no more than two hours away from my baby. That is my limit. And I must be close by, a quick drive away. And I don’t spend time away from her often, maybe a couple of times a month. I think this is normal. This is part of being well-attached.

But I can already tell she is gaining confidence in herself. When we went to the waterfront to look at birds a couple days ago, she was more than happy to toddle quickly away from me to get a better view of the ducks. Usually she holds tightly to my hand but a few times she tried to pull it away. But she’s not yet coordinated enough to roam around for long by herself, so I must still be her shadow, and pick her up when she falls down.