Last night Freya and I were laying in bed and she said, “Is there any mommy milk?” She last nursed on Christmas day.

We stopped because pregnancy was causing excruciating pain when she nursed, as well as a lowered supply. Also we were at the point where she only nursed to go to bed, which is perfectly fine and natural for a two-year-old, and I suspect that had I not become pregnant, we might even still be nursing once a day. It’s a wonderful way to relax and connect and she of course was still getting some benefits from my immunity (her first real cold occurred last month).

I said, no, there isn’t any mommy milk right now. Freya then told me that when the baby comes, she will share the mommy milk with her. I smiled, wondering if it’s possible that she could restart. Latching is a skill though, and after seven months, it’s unlikely she’ll be able to do it again.

I really loved nursing with her and I’m so grateful that I will have the chance to breastfeed another baby. The difference will be profound. I have two years of experience now. Before I had Freya, I thought I might do it for a year, then “wean her.” Now I know I will nurse this baby for a minimum two years, then stop when she is ready to stop, which could be a year after that, who knows. But I won’t get pregnant again, so this time it will look different when it’s time to stop.

Grateful to give this gift to my daughters, and to myself too. Four to five years of breastfeeding for me means healthier boobs and drastically lowered cancer risk. And it means the same for my girls, too. Amazing.