The dog started barking at quarter to two this morning, waking me up from a dream. She went back to sleep, but I was awake for over three hours. I really don’t know when I went back to sleep, but it was close to 5am I think.
Heartburn has been terrible. Stabbing pain under my ribs, always at night. I’ve been taking Zantac but I don’t think it’s doing anything. I can’t sleep sitting up because it hurts my tailbone and Freya wouldn’t stand for it either, she likes being cuddled to sleep, and unfortunately laying on my side produces the worst pain. So I suck it up and deal.
Then I lay on my back and feel baby kick me gently. I haven’t had time to really sit with her and connect the way I did with Freya. I now have a two-year-old who needs much of my attention, so while I do notice the baby inside, it’s not like we have long stretches of time to just sit and think, like I did when I was commuting long ago.
Today the weather is grim and cold and awful, again. Snow with no hope of accumulation, so no fun at all. The weather, hormones, darkness, etc, are all making me feel lonely. Doesn’t seem to be much I can do about any of it. Freya makes me happy always, though, and so does Brian. So grateful to have my little family.