Someday I will read books again. Someday I will write again, work again, go out for drinks again, go see a movie again. I’ll come back and read this and think wow, I sort of remember that time.

Audrey is four weeks old today. She has entered a stage where she does not want to be put down, ever. Not while awake or asleep. At times I can get away with putting her in a bouncer for a nap, if she is deeply asleep. But it’s a crapshoot. She is in a more active phase, and thus more fussy, less sleepy. She sleeps fairly well at night, however. Last night a huge thunderstorm passed over our town, with many many lightning flashes and thunder claps and a couple periods of violent rain. She (and Freya) slept through it.

Our weather during the day is now nice and warm and sunny, just in time for me to feel utterly tethered to home. Audrey isn’t really even ready for the stroller. I’m going to try walking with her and Freya this afternoon, wearing her in the baby k’tan wrap. I need exercise and fresh air and sunshine desperately. I’ve been trying to coordinate with Brian on how I can possibly fit in 30-40 minutes per day of walking. So sick of being fat. The weight I am at now is “obese” for my height. Unacceptable.

So far I have lost 15 pounds. Still 25 more to go. I really needed shorts this weekend so I went to Gap, where as usual everything was heavily marked down. Found a good pair of shorts and fit into a size 8. My pre-preg size is 4, and my skinny size is 2. I accept I will never be a 2 again, but in order to avoid having to buy a whole new goddamn wardrobe, I must get back to a 4 again.