The window is open and I hear steady rain outside. Audrey is asleep in her sort of crib at the end of our bed. I sang You Are My Sunshine to her until her eyes fell shut.

I need to start getting up in the morning before the girls and meditating and doing yoga like I used to. But lately it has been hard to get up. I’m so tired every morning. Part of it is Brian’s alarm goes off at 5:00 and I can’t sleep through it. I finally get back to sleep much later and usually have some vivid and disturbing dream. This morning it was a dream where I was at my doctor’s office, asking her to examine me. And then we were driving up a steep and winding road to the top of an impossibly green and sunny hill, a place covered with bright gardens and tiny houses. Too beautiful and charming to be real.